Last updated at 10:28, Saturday, 08 August 2015

Dear Sir, Please forgive the impertinence of a newspaper hack disturbing your day. It is just that 81 days have now passed and, to borrow an old-fashioned terrace song, it’s all gone quiet over here.

At Carlisle United, things move at a gentler pace. We now know that 81 days is insufficient time for a wealthy person such as yourself to negotiate a deal to invest in a League Two club in the north of England.

And so be it, if there are Ts still requiring a cross and further Is in need of a gold-encrusted dot. It is assumed that you did not get rich by neglecting to sweat the small stuff.

But please – don’t keep us hanging forever. This afternoon, you see, the subject of your ardour finally returns to competitive action. And several hundred people will be journeying from Cumbria to Mansfield in the familiar state of hope and worry.

On those buses to Nottinghamshire, the usual debates will proceed. Should it be 3-5-2 or 4-4-2? Ought it to be Hery or Balanta in attacking midfield? Does Troy merit a place? Who plays off Ibehre? Is Curle the man? Will Colin West be spotted?

Do you have a view on any of this, sir? Will you be tuning in, on the radio, the internet, or via a servant relaying the news? If not, we would politely like to ask: why, exactly, do you want to be here?

It must be strange to be out there, somewhere, knowing that – and you surely know, if your agent has taken the temperature – there is a pocket of people faithful to Carlisle United doubting your existence, and a broader group wondering about your intentions. What’s it all about, this secretive flirtation? What’s in it for you?

These people are not fools, but after years of decline at their proud club, they are yearning for someone to tell them good things. As you will be aware, this mystery was set off on May 19, when we were informed by United that you had made a “genuine and firm offer” of major investment over a three to five-year period.

Nearly two months later, this offer, however genuine and however firm, had not materialised in writing. Not my words – the words of John Nixon, erstwhile managing director, now guiding Carlisle’s “external affairs”.

So you can appreciate why there might be the odd furrowed brow here in Cumbria. And, as time has passed, more questions have arisen. On BBC Radio Cumbria on July 10, Mr Nixon informed listeners that “all [the club’s] financial information” was with you.

“They’re able to ask questions about it in some detail, they’re doing their form of due diligence,” he said. Yet some 17 days later, club chairman Andrew Jenkins said that due diligence would only occur “in due course” after a period of “further discussion”.

So has it occurred, or has it not? Is the diligence done, due or overdue? To repeat an oft-voiced question from fans – how long does it take an extremely wealthy person to look at the books of a club like Carlisle and decide whether he can sort it?

I wonder. Meanwhile, there are intimations that persistent media questioning might cause you to take fright and scupper the deal. In which case, allow me to reassure you. 

We are not talking about a Sky News or a Reuters here in Carlisle. Until you have the Blues in the Premier League, it will be us here at the News & Star, along with Radio Cumbria, local TV, other radio, supporters’ websites and the club’s own media operation.

If this little lot is something you cannot cope with, how have you managed under the attention of those pesky Rich List compilers and the wealth scrutineers of international financial journalism?

Cumbria may not be awash with billionaires, but we have our share of millionaires. Many are known, and most get by. In any case, we are told that you are based “overseas”. Cumbrian Newspapers’ expense budget does not stretch to prolonged foreign travel, alas, so even if you are an inordinately private person, you are probably safe from the worst of it.

On behalf of those people awaiting your next move, meanwhile, a few more questions. Since your expression of interest, United have lost their two best young players for six-figure sums. How do you feel about the downward progress that made this grimly inevitable?

What’s your opinion on changes engineered more recently, such as Nixon’s altered title, the appointment of a marketing director and new relations with the supporters’ trust?

Do you think it’s right that some or all of these moves should be executed before you’ve got through the door? Do you find it curious that all of them appear to have been taken from the blueprint of someone who the club’s owners believed was short of cash and engaged in questionable “business practices”?

Also, are you honestly content to slot into the club’s proposed 45-45-10 shareholding split (also a notion of that spurned suitor, Andrew Lapping)?

Seriously? A minor stake and limited power, with all that wealth?

This is vital stuff for, as far as we can tell, you are the only game in town. And maybe this free run is the reason for the sedate progress. Maybe there are more urgent priorities in your portfolio than the little old Blues.

That’s fine – but please don’t leave us too far down the list. Time is money, and there are signs that supporters – the lifeblood of the place – are not exactly leaping on board until there is clarity.

It might not feel like it to you, but over here it seems a clock is ticking quite quickly. Clouds of doubt are also hanging heavy.

Clear them, with a smile, a flourish of your wallet and a genuine statement of intent, and we’ll be quite soon be eating out of your hands.

Just don’t take forever about it. The suspense, and the silence? It’s killing us.

Yours in hope,

Jon Colman