| Hello folks. Well who could have thought we'd be heading into a new century by looking BACK? It's 2100 already and yet our grandfathers keep telling us about the football club that used to play on Warwick Road. Their own fathers used to go along "in the old days". Little is known about the sad demise of the club. A man called Michael Knighton is believed to have owned the club in it's last years. After much research, the following artefact has turned up in a vault at the back of the BBC's studios. This dusty tape features an ancient interview with Michael Knighton, the former owner of Carlisle United FC, which was recorded in 2005, a year after the club had folded following 101 years in existence.  | Michael Knighton: Believed to be owner of long-forgotten football club |
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Paul Newton (Interviewer): Mr Knighton welcome to the studio.
Michael Knighton (Removing bullet proof vest): Why thank you Paul it's a pleasure.
PN: I wouldn't take that off yet, Michael there are plenty of people in here who'd like to take a pot at you.
MK: I'll take a chance. You know Paul, the people of Carlisle really love me. It's just a minority of confrontational individuals who are the problem.
PN: It's 12 months since the football club died and the gates were locked for the last time. Now a 100-room hotel owned by Knighton Leisure Group Ltd stands on the site of Brunton Park. Have you any regrets?
MK: Paul - I tell you I'd have loved to see that wonderful club in the Premiership. The marvellous people of Carlisle would have deserved it. But I don't regret anything. The supporters ultimately didn't want a club any more. It wasn't my fault.
PN: Some would say that you ruined the club and alienated all the fans.
MK: Well it wasn't me that boycotted Paul! They stayed away. Gates fell to 500, then 300, then 100. It was dying Paul, nobody cared about it any more.
PN: But there were thousands outside the ground protesting every week. And there were people chained to the railings the day the bulldozers moved in.
MK: Really? I wasn't aware of that Paul. Of course I'm just going on information I receive. As you know I have nothing to do with the running of my businesses.
PN: Well I'm sure hundreds of people would tell you they were there protesting Michael.
MK: Well I'd be glad to meet them Paul. My door is always open.
PN: People have been jamming our switchboard for the past 12 months complaining about the tragic loss of their club. They say they are boycotting the hotel.
MK: I'm not aware of any boycott on the hotel Paul. It's fabulously well run by my son and daughter who are directors. We get thousands of guests every week. I'll show you the visitors book if you want...
PN: ...well I don't think we'll bother at the moment Michael. Can you say exactly why you took the decision to liquidate the club?
MK: It wasn't my decision Paul! As you know I had nothing to do with it. The directors and administrators had a meeting and decided to do it. I was there simply as a guest. Anyway they had no choice. We raised a lot of money for the remaining creditors.
PN: But you only paid them 1p in the pound!
MK: Well that was thanks to my son who personally paid them with an interest-free loan. The people of Carlisle owe that money back to Mark you know. We will get it back one day.
PN: I was told in confidence that the money was raised by selling Ted Swainson's lawnmower.
MK: That's a total and utter fabrication of the truth, Paul. Total and utter!
PN: Do you spend much time in Carlisle these days?
MK: Unfortunately due to the actions of a tiny minority I have to make fleeting visits in a secure vehicle with that on (jabs a finger at the vest). I'd love to meet all my friends in Carlisle Paul but it is proving difficult to get together.
PN: Is the hotel a more profitable business than the football club?
MK: Well it's not about profits Paul. I don't like to discuss the finances of the hotel as I don't know much about it. I have no role there, Paul. If you ask my son to come on your show I'm sure he'd be happy to tell you the figures.
PN: We've asked Mark 18 times in the past and he's refused 18 times. He's never given an interview to the media, Michael!
MK: All you have to do is ask me and I'll ask him if he wants to do it. It is his choice, he's a grown man and can make his own decisions.
PN: Shouldn't he be a bit more high profile, like yourself?
MK: Well we're all different aren't we Paul? He is a very hard worker who does 18-hour days and gets little reward. He doesn't pay himself much, all the money goes to investing in the hotel's infrastructure, or so he tells me. I have no part to play of course.
PN: Your ban expires later this year - will you return as director of the hotel?
MK: To be honest Paul I haven't made up my mind. I've got books to write and vegetables to grow. I've got six publishers queuing up for my autobiography you know. I could make a fortune - but I'd probably gift the money to a local charity instead.
PN: People claim you've never given money to charity and that you are fundamentally greedy.
MK: They are bitter people Paul - bitter. They don't know about me or my family. We are made of steel girders. We are strong and we always fight to the end.
PN: But have you ever given to charities?
MK: Ring my accountants, or my bankers Paul. They'll tell you all about me. Ring Martin Edwards - he'll vouch for my generosity. Drop George Reynolds a line. Or Owen Oyston.
PN: For the last time, have you ever given any money away to charity Michael?
MK: Give me your fax number Paul and I'll personally fax you my last dozen bank statements tomorrow morning. You'll see all the money on there that I give away regularly.
PN: Ok Michael can we move on to the future - will you ever get back into football?
MK: Well who knows Paul? Que sera sera, as they say at Old Trafford. The world is my oyster. I always like to reach for the rainbow and see if I can find the next pot of gold. I am still ambitious. I still have my health. I have my hotel, my Spar shop, my wine bar. I have lots to keep me active. I run 10 miles every day.
PN: You've only ever been seen eating when you've visited the hotel though.
MK: I eat to keep myself fit, Paul. If I didn't eat, I'd starve to death. We all need to eat, Paul. What's wrong with that? You know Paul I happen to be a connoiseur of good food.
PN: Oh really? Are you thinking of writing a cook book?
MK: As I say Paul you never know what might come along. Fate will lay its silvery hand at my door. I will do what I do. Who knows?
PN: Michael Knighton - thank you very much.
MK: It's been a pleasure Paul.
(A masked man charges into the studio, pulls out a pistol and fires three shots into MK's chest)
MK: Now then sir - you didn't aim for the right part of my body there. What you should have do....uuuurggh. (collapses dead on floor)
PN: And that, as they say, is all we have time for, folks! (off mike: Get an extra large bin bag will you, Vera?)
The tape then has the following news bulletin:
Announcer: This is the Radio Cumbria News at 3pm. Michael Knighton, former owner of Carlisle United has been found dead in a deserted back alley in Carlisle. Police say there are no suspicious circumstances....
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